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1. If you're not sure whether or not you and your partner are right for each other then moving in together should be the last thing on your mind. Why would you want to move in with someone you don't feel you know well enough? Let me fill you in on a little secret; you'll never stop learning about your partner. You can be together for twenty years and still discover something new. What are you going to do after finding out you're not compatible? Move out and move in with the next person you decide to date? Some may say at least they uncovered the truth before it was too late. I say it was a lot of money and time spent wasted and they probably would have discovered this anyway.

2. For those who want to get closer to their mate, understand it takes time. Although moving in together will allow you to be around each other more and even give you a better idea of what it would be like if the two of you were to be married; nothing compares to the real thing. When you're single and live together, you always have the option to walk out if something goes wrong because legally, you're not obligated to stay with this person and its easier to walk away from a situation than to deal with it. Closeness develops through tough times and struggles. When you get deathly ill, will your partner be there to take care of you? If you lose your six figure income job, will your partner stand by you and hold it down until you're back on your feet? If you really want to get close, these are the things you should be watching out for.

My cousin said something very wise that stuck with me. "If your man or woman are not God-fearing, what makes you think they'll be loyal to you?" In other words, if you can't answer to and obey God's rules; the creator of the universe" chances are you won't submit, respect or be loyal to your spouse. It just won't work. In this day and age without the foundation of God's love, you will fall short to temptation, greed and selfishness.

My advice for the married folks, before you become another statistic, take yourselves back to the day you and your spouse first met. Think about all those great feeling and how much you desired to be with one another. Ask God to come into your lives and help build back the love that you two once shared. For those of you who got married for any reason other than the fact that you loved each other, pray for love. Pray that God will allow you to experience the true meaning of love and to value and appreciate one another for who they are.

My advice for the single folks looking for love, stability and companionship; understand what it means to be married. Marriage is a life-long commitment. In order for a marriage to work, you will have to compromise, be loyal, be respectful and even submissive at times. Seek advice from couples who've been married for a while and are still in love. Most importantly, make sure you're in love. Having a child together or being together for a long time aren't good enough reasons to get married. You should be in love with each other; period! Therefore, before you decide to tie the knot., ask yourself this simple question; "If there were no such thing as divorce, would I still want to marry this person?" If your answer is yes, than you are on your way to a happy, healthy relationship. If your answer is no, then keep it moving. Don't waste your time or money.

My advice for the non believers and pessimists who don't believe in God and think they can make it on their own; I challenge you to try him.

Bad guys never show their bad side until later when they think its too late. For example, after the woman's conceived their child or after the two are married or even after they've moved in together. Bad guys always seem like good guys in the beginning. They say and do all the right things to make you happy and totally blind you from who they really are. This is the reason why I strongly encourage everyone to love themselves first and really get to know your partners before becoming to involved or intimate. 

There are a few reasons why good girls date bad guys...

1. They believe they can change them. They believe they're so special that these guys will automatically turn from their evil ways and do right by them but they won't. Yes, I believe everyone has the ability to change but it must be THEIR desire and THEIR choice.  It's not your responsibility to do it.

2. They come from an abusive home where bad guys were the norm and therefore became accustomed to that lifestyle. Whether we want to admit it or not, we share a lot of the same characteristics as our parents. If a woman grows up watching her mother or female guardian being  subjected to an abusive relationship, she's more likely to do the same.  Therefore men, don't be so quick to judge or dismiss a woman that may be in this situation. Instead, be an example. Treat her with respect and show her that all men are not "bad guys".

3. They don't love themselves. Many women do not have a positive self-esteem. They settle for less because they don't think they can find better. They've been brainwashed to believe that all men are "bad guys" and therefore accept it. How can you possible love someone if you don't love yourself? How can you allow someone to hurt you repeatedly if you truly loved yourself? Remember you alone are responsible for the way people treat you. If someone disrespects you once, they are at fault. If they disrespect you a second time, you are at fault.

Finally, my advice for the women is,  Love Yourself! It's never too late to ask for help. My advice for the men is, Don't Be So Quick to Judge A Woman That May Be In A Relationship With A Bad Guy because you don't know her history.

If you are one of those men that constantly complain about the women you're pursuing always falling for the "bad" guys, I have a reality check for you; she's just not attracted to you. We women MUST be attracted to our men. Something about you must be stimulating enough to keep us interested. Whether its your physical appearance, sense of humor, personality or intelligence; something must be compelling about you that keeps us intrigued and coming back for more. 

The bottom line is women do not love bad guys, we love tough guys! As for the women that do date "bad" guys, tune in to my next blog to get my perspective on that topic.