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Why do we hold on so tight to something that's simply not meant to be? If you broke up then there's probably a good reason as to why they are now your ex. Whether it was you or them that messed up, the truth of the matter is that its over. Move on.

Do not meddle in your ex's new relationship. Do not call their phone from a blocked number and hang up. Don't stir up confrontation if you see them in public. Do not call their mother, brother, sister, cousin, or best friend; trying to plead your case in hopes that they will help you get them back. Do not show up at their job with a gift and pitiful look on your face expecting everything to be back to normal. When its over, it over!

Breaking up is hard to do; especially when you've been together a while and was deeply in love. I've been there and I get it! What I don't get is when one individual puts pressure on another individual to continue a relationship that's just not working. You cannot force someone to love you and want to be with you.  There are too many single men and women out there for you to be in a relationship where you are unhappy.

The break up period should be a time of reflection. What could I have done differently to change the outcome of the relationship? What do I need to work on as an individual? What will I not tolerate again in a mate? What's important and what's not? Remember, its healthy to go through a few bad relationships before you get to the good one. This way, you learn a lot about yourself and can better appreciate your significant other for who they are.

Now my above statement applies more so to all my single viewers. Those of you who are married, you have more to think about for example;  house, children , etc. Therefore its worth it, to put more effort into saving one's marriage. If an individual feels the need to do any of the items listed above to save their marriage then sole be it. But at the end of the day, you can't make someone love you and stay with you if they don't want to. Its sad but true. When its over, its over.  Move on.

Have you ever had someone do or say something to you that was so hurtful that you couldn't find the words to verbally communicate your emotions or feelings? Have you ever been so angry with your mate that you couldn't stand to look them in the face and tell them how disappointed you were because you were just that mad?  How do you accept ones apology when you're still hurting on the inside? What do you do when sorry is just not enough?

The answer is simple, forgive and forget or let them go.  Its easier said then done. I know, but you can't continue to worry or burden yourself with things that you have no control over. In life, the people closest to you will let you down. They will say or do mean things out of spite just to hurt you because, you perhaps hurt them and they want to return the favor. Some just need to feel in control and will do or say anything to win the fight or make you feel powerless. You cannot change someone's heart or make them do what you want them to do so why get so worked up about it?

How many times do you have to hear "sorry" before you know the person is not going to change? If your mate continues to do or say things that offends you, annoys you,  or hurts you and their solution or answer is always "sorry" then you only have two choices. It's either you learn to accept their flaw and forgive them with a pure heart (no resentment) or simply end the relationship. Now if you choose to stay and work it out, you may want to think of how you are now going to deal with the situation. Prayer always works for me. Sometimes we need to just put it in the "To Do Box" for God to handle. In a relationship, we must rely on one another for support and patience. Bad habits are hard to break so instead of getting annoyed or upset, try to think of ways in which you can help you partner. Retaliation or revenge aren't and never should be your solution. If you choose to walk away from the relationship, do so with assurance and don't look back. The truth of the matter is, that person was never the one God had intended for you to be with. Some people are placed in our lives only for a season and a purpose. Once that season has passed, you must move on otherwise you will never receive the true person God had created for you.

I've learned two very important lessons in my many years of dating and being married for almost two years and that's "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff & It's All Small Stuff" and "No Matter How Bad It Seems, It Can Always Be Worse". Lets face it folks, life is too short to spend precious time and energy being upset. So the next time your mate says "sorry" and you don't feel as if their apology is sincere or you're still hurting on the inside; learn to forgive and forget or simply let them go.

Remember all the simple things you used to do for each other when you first met? Do you remember how important it was to put a smile on your mates face and how good it felt to laugh together? What about the love notes you used to write for one another and the late night phone conversations that went on for hours? It's the simple things that matter in life.

I remember when my husband Rudy and I were dating, I would go over his place and we'd watch Kings of Comedy through a projector so it would feel like we were at the movies. Instead of popcorn, we'd feed each other grapes and strawberries. I know it may seem a bit corny to you but that was one of my favorite memories. Sadly, we don't do that much anymore but I hope to start that back up again.

Sometimes, as long-dating or married couples; we get so caught up in our daily routines that we forget about what truly makes us happy.  We spend a lot of time planning vacations and long weekends but we forget the simple things that brought us together in the first place. There's no need to reinvent the wheel. Whatever worked then will work now.

What are the simple things that make your mate happy? Maybe it's a song or a love note. Perhaps it's a simple call to say I love you in the middle of the work day or surprising him or her with something special. What ever it is that your mate will enjoy and appreciate, make it a point to do that simple something for  him or her this week and every week moving forward.  I'm sure they won't see it coming and will appreciate you so much more.  It's the simple things that brought us together and it's the simple things we're never going to forget.

Being submissive is on the top of my list of most difficult yet most important compromises to make in a relationship. Couples are often advised about the importance of love, communication, respect and loyalty. However, submission is left out because people just don't know how to explain it.

Although I'm addressing all couples, the focus is more so directed toward married couples. It is not until you're married that you realize the importance of being submissive and the overall effect it has on your relationship. Being submissive is not to be mistaken with being passive. A submissive person exemplifies strength and confidence whereas a passive individual shows signs of weakness and vulnerability. A person who's submissive knows when to speak up and when to back down. A submissive person understand what it means to serve their spouse with a Godly spirit without compromising who they are or what they believe.

To all my twentieth century, "Strong, independent, and successful women"; it's okay to be all that while still taking care of your men. It IS your responsibility to make sure he's taken care of. Whether it's preparing him a home cooked meal, maintaining a tidy home or even making passionate love to him, it IS your duty as a wife and as a woman. You should want to take care of and stand by your man. Being submissive is allowing your man to be a man yet having the ability to know when to question his judgment and when to obey his authorities.

As for the fellas, you too must be submissive toward your women. It IS your responsibility to love, honor and protect your women. You are to listen to her, guide her and learn when to simply agree to disagree. Women are complicated creatures yet full of wisdom.  We may talk a lot and are easily angered but it's your job to comfort us and understand where we are coming from. Learn to read between the lines. Serving your women should be your hearts joy. For example, washing her car, shoveling snow and fixing things around the house shouldn't be considered a chore. She should be able to look to you for support, Not every man is handy, so if you can't fix it, leave it alone. Lol, these are simply examples of what I mean when I say to serve you women.

Too many marriages or relationships end up broken simply because we don't understand how to be submissive toward one another. There cannot be two kings or two queens in a castle.  The king has his role and the queen has her role. As soon as the two realizes this, there's a chance they'll live happily ever after. Remember God is love and he must be in the center of all marriages and relationship. If you cannot submit to God, what make you think you'll be able to submit to man? Think about it.

Are you struggling with being submissive toward your spouse? If so why? Do you agree with me that being submissive is an important factor in a relationship? Why or why not? Love to hear your thoughts.