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Does Age Matter In A Relationship?
Posted by Sandra Chat on
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
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Age is certainly a key factor in a relationship especially if it involves minors. (Minors meaning under the age of 18). Regardless of whether the teenager appears older or acts "mature" for their age, its illegal. Period!! Any adult (over the age of 19) who would even consider dating a teenager has personal issues. For example, a 16 year old dating a 19 year old in my book wouldn't be appropriate. (Visualize a junior in high school dating a sophomore in college). Although there's only a three year difference between the two; the maturity level, education and experience of the 19 year old surpasses that of the 16 year old by a long shot.
You can understand a great deal about a person by knowing their age alone. I believe that with age comes wisdom. This is not to be confused with intelligence. We can all go to school or read a book and get educated. But, wisdom comes from experience.
If an individual who is of age decides to date someone, 10, 20, or even 30 year older/younger, that's totally fine. After all, its their happiness and love for each other that truly matters. However, the age difference will impact their relationship physically, mentally and emotionally.
Physically, your mate may not be equipped to maintain the physical lifestyle of one half their age.
Mentally, you will have to deal with life's constant reminders of your age difference through media and your day to day activities.
Emotionally, a strong bond and love between the two will be required to withstand the bickering and disapproval of family and friends.
Nonetheless, age does matter. As an adult, you are expected to understand what it is that you're are doing and take full responsibility for your actions.
Living Together Before Marriage
Posted by Sandra Chat on
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
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Living together before marriage has become a norm in our society today. Couples move in together without thinking twice. Some believe moving in together before marriage will help determine whether the two are right for each other. Others think it will bring them closer while the majority are certain it will allow them two save money in preparation for their future. I believe these all are excuses used by individual who are afraid to commit. Playing "house" goes against God's plan for our lives. Call me old fashioned, this is simply my opinion.
1. If you're not sure whether or not you and your partner are right for each other then moving in together should be the last thing on your mind. Why would you want to move in with someone you don't feel you know well enough? Let me fill you in on a little secret; you'll never stop learning about your partner. You can be together for twenty years and still discover something new. What are you going to do after finding out you're not compatible? Move out and move in with the next person you decide to date? Some may say at least they uncovered the truth before it was too late. I say it was a lot of money and time spent wasted and they probably would have discovered this anyway.
2. For those who want to get closer to their mate, understand it takes time. Although moving in together will allow you to be around each other more and even give you a better idea of what it would be like if the two of you were to be married; nothing compares to the real thing. When you're single and live together, you always have the option to walk out if something goes wrong because legally, you're not obligated to stay with this person and its easier to walk away from a situation than to deal with it. Closeness develops through tough times and struggles. When you get deathly ill, will your partner be there to take care of you? If you lose your six figure income job, will your partner stand by you and hold it down until you're back on your feet? If you really want to get close, these are the things you should be watching out for.
3. Moving in together to save money is the biggest excuse of them all. I used to think after getting married, I'd save so much more money because there would now be double the income and I'd be able to split the bills. Boy was I wrong. What I failed to consider was how much everything else would increase. (i.e electricity, heat, water, groceries, laundry etc.) I'm not saying that you wouldn't save at all, perhaps if the two of you budget right, you may do all right. However, my experiences have proven otherwise. I was able to save so much more when I was dating and living alone than I do now that I'm married.
My advice is, enjoy being single as long as you can. (You're still considered single if you're not married). After all, you have the rest of your life to live together and get to know one another. THE REST OF YOUR LIFE (at least that's the intention). Why would you want to be in a rush to give up your privacy, freedom and space? Most importantly, its not aligned with God's plan for us.
If There Were No Such Thing As Divorce, Would You Get Married?
Posted by Sandra Chat on
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
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Now a days, it seems to me that too many people get married for the wrong reasons. Love and marriage are just not what they used to be. Couples fight over everything and anything which in turn leads to separation and eventually divorce. So I thought to myself, what would it be like if there were no such thing as divorce? If the words "Until death do us part" were in fact the only way to part, would you get married to your spouse all over again?
I pondered on this for a while myself and although my answer is yes, I would still marry my wonderful husband Rudy Pierre today for the simple fact that I am truly in love with him. But more importantly God is the source and foundation of our relationship. If God is love and love conquers all, then nothing or no one can break us.
My cousin said something very wise that stuck with me. "If your man or woman are not God-fearing, what makes you think they'll be loyal to you?" In other words, if you can't answer to and obey God's rules; the creator of the universe" chances are you won't submit, respect or be loyal to your spouse. It just won't work. In this day and age without the foundation of God's love, you will fall short to temptation, greed and selfishness.
My advice for the married folks, before you become another statistic, take yourselves back to the day you and your spouse first met. Think about all those great feeling and how much you desired to be with one another. Ask God to come into your lives and help build back the love that you two once shared. For those of you who got married for any reason other than the fact that you loved each other, pray for love. Pray that God will allow you to experience the true meaning of love and to value and appreciate one another for who they are.
My advice for the single folks looking for love, stability and companionship; understand what it means to be married. Marriage is a life-long commitment. In order for a marriage to work, you will have to compromise, be loyal, be respectful and even submissive at times. Seek advice from couples who've been married for a while and are still in love. Most importantly, make sure you're in love. Having a child together or being together for a long time aren't good enough reasons to get married. You should be in love with each other; period! Therefore, before you decide to tie the knot., ask yourself this simple question; "If there were no such thing as divorce, would I still want to marry this person?" If your answer is yes, than you are on your way to a happy, healthy relationship. If your answer is no, then keep it moving. Don't waste your time or money.
My advice for the non believers and pessimists who don't believe in God and think they can make it on their own; I challenge you to try him.
