Sandra Chat "Relationship"
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21+ And Dealing With Over Protective Parents While Dating

Posted by Sandra Chat on Friday, March 26, 2010 , under | comments (2)



If you grew up with parents nearly as over protective as mine then you're probably going through what I went through. And the worse part about it is, you find yourself constantly fighting with your mate because they cant seem to understand why you're 21+ and still sneaking around.

I grew up in a Haitian household with traditional Haitian parents that had set rules you wouldn't dare break nor challenge. Heaven forbids you did, you wouldn't just be answering to your parents but also to your aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and any other adult figure that happened to be present.  The consequences were either a nice butt whooping or a good lecture that can go on for hours. I preferred the whooping; quick and to the point. The lectures were torture. In any rate, the bottom line is most traditional West Indian parents (I'm sure there are a lot of other cultures as well) are over protective because its part of their culture to be that way.

Now lets first understand there's a difference between having over protective parents and strict parents. Parents who are over protective allows you to have some freedom. You're allowed to date, go out with friends and perhaps even sleep out as long as they know where you're going, who you're with and what time you're coming home. They may ask for more detail such as phone numbers and addresses but the first three I mentioned are their main concern. Over protective parents have a little bit of trouble letting go because they love you so much and really just want to keep you from harms way. Can be a bit frustrating I know. However strict parents do not allow you any freedom. They show their love by instilling fear in you. Strict parents just don't know how to let go and they have no clue how much they're hurting their children by simply not allowing them to live. They feel the need to control your every move whether you're coming or going. This is the reason some children grow up, go away to school if they can manage that and totally lose control by getting involved in sex, drugs, alcohol, parties , etc. They feel the need to express themselves because they never had the chance to do it when they were younger.

My best advice for those of you who have to deal with strict or over protective parents is move out. Of course, you don't want to be ignorant about it and run off to live with someone you barely know. Finish school if you're going, save some money and leave when you are financially ready. At the end of the day you want to be smart yet have your sanity as well. I may have lived with my parents longer than I had hoped to but I had a plan. And the plan was to live home for free and save up enough money to by my own home which is what I did. When its all said and done I knew my parents loved me and only wanted the best so I stuck it out. But I understand that may not be the case for you. You have to choose what makes the best sense for you. There are parents who are intolerable and leave you with no choice but to move out. They will try and discourage you from leaving and may even become upset but eventually they will get over it. And if they truly love you, they'll understand.

For those of you currently dating a woman (more likely than men) or a man who live with over protective or strict parents, don't give them a hard time. They're stressed enough just knowing that you too have to deal with it as well, if you're going to stay in the relationship. In most cases, it's a cultural thing and there's no getting around that. Just try to understand and be respectful. You won't be in that situation forever.  Eventually your mate will move out.

Top 10 Turn Ons

Posted by Sandra Chat on Tuesday, March 16, 2010 , under | comments (0)



Ever wonder what really turns your man or woman on? There are probably a ton of things that turn them on so I did my own survey. I discovered some obvious as well as some very interesting things. According to 50 random men and women, this is what they had to say...

The top 10 turn ons for women are:
1. Swagger/Stature/Confidence (the total package)
2. Intelligence
3. Pheromones
4. Fresh cut / Shape up/Rugged look/Bald head
5. Physical  (looks and body)
6. Butt
7. Witty
8. Smile/Lips
9. Nice hands
10. A man that knows how to pray

The top 10 turn ons for men are:
1. Attractive/Sexiness
2. Promiscuous/Takes control in the bedroom
3. Confidence/Comfortable with her body
4. Butt/Breasts
5. Pheromones
6. Smile/Eyes
7. Sexy Undies
8. Intelligence
9. Tattoos
10. New hairstyle/Manicured Nails

What is it that turns you on? Please share, I'm sure my viewers would love to know.

Be Careful Who You Are Seeking Advice From

Posted by Sandra Chat on Monday, March 8, 2010 , under | comments (0)




Maintaining a happy and healthy relationship is challenging in itself without having to deal with negative influences. In other words, do not seek relationship advice from someone who isn't in a healthy and steady relationship.

Every relationship goes through its stages. Whether you're just starting off, been together a while or married, its best to seek advice from someone more experienced than you. For example, if you are single and trying to find a mate, why would you get advice from your single friends who too are in search of Mr./Mrs. Right? Wouldn't it make more sense to talk to a friend who is happily married or have been in a long term committed relationship? Many of us make the mistake of discussing our relationship with friends because we feel comfortable or have known them for a while. Although that may be the case, it doesn't mean they'll give you the best possible advice.

I do not feel its wise to consult your problems with just anyone especially those that seem to have nothing but negative comments to make.  For example, "I told you he/she was no good," "You should do the same thing to him/her and see how they feel," or  agrees with you even when you're wrong. I'm sure it's not their intentions to steer you in the wrong direction but someone who is negative will almost always have a negative reaction. Instead, find that one person who can help you see your flaws if you are in fact wrong or help you to gain something positive from what you're going through. If you and your mate are disputing about something, a more experienced person will tell you that you are wrong if you are in fact wrong and advise on ways in which you can fix the problem. Or they may share with you a similar experience they encountered and how they were able to resolve it.

Everyone should have at least one person they can talk to when they are going through. Just be careful who you choose to be that person. They may be your friends and have the right intentions but can advise you wrong; simply because they lack that level of experience. As a result, it can be the end of your relationship.