When Your Mate Cheats, Why Do You Get Upset With The Other Person?
Monday, October 12, 2009
, Posted by Sandra Chat at 4:30 PM
Both men and women share the universal understanding of "My man/woman is off limits." Meaning, if you are aware the individual you are pursuing or that's pursuing you is in a committed relationship; married or dating, you must simply not get involved with that person, even if he or she is willing. If they can cheat on their mates, what makes you think they won't cheat on you?
The reason why an individual may get upset and attack the other person before addressing their mate is because they're upset and they allow their emotions to take control of the situation, especially if they're caught in the act. Additionally, not only would one feel threatened and disrespected by the other person, but it maybe their only opportunity to confront them if they don't know them. If the individual does in fact know the other person, they may become even more outraged by the betrayal. After all, you've broken the universal code.
Its ok to confront the other person as long as you intend to address and settle things with your mate. Whether you decide to stay or leave is up to you. Having said that, it is not ok to put all the blame on the other person for interfering in your relationship. It takes two people to cheat, not one. Your mate is more guilty then they are.
Do we want to get cheated on? No, but we do. Should we confront and be mad at the other person? Yes, its expected that you'd be upset and feel the need to confront them. However, you must do it with class. You should never give away your power and control. Using extreme profanity and physical measures will only bring you down to their level. Should you be upset with your mate? Of course! They are more to blame then the other person. Should you stay with your mate after he or she has cheated? That's a decision you will have to make.
This goes back to my previous posts about loving yourself and knowing your mate. If you haven't read it, please check it out. When you can truly say that you love yourself, it will become easier to address situations such as these. If you're every cheated on, look at it as their loss and a lessons learned for yourself.
Awh Sandra. Thanks for addressing this issue. It's crazy how often people misplace their anger in these types of situations. Instead of being mad at their man/woman for cheating on them, they get mad at the other person. At the end of the day, you are in a committed relationship with your man/woman, not the other person, so you have to get your anger in check. I was def "that girl" before, but eventually I was able to get my anger into pespective and figure things out for me.
I totally agree with what you said and this all does connect with what you've said in your past blogs, great reference.
Hi Mz St3f,
Thanks for your comment. Glad we were able to see eye to eye on this one. Sometimes we just need to remind ourselves the importance of controling our emotions especially in challenging situations.